I headed into convention late this morning (we’re all getting pretty tired) and before I left the room I sat down to check my email. I received one from an unknown address, and curious, opened it to see what it read. It was from a fellow Episcopalian, whom I have never met:

“This morning in Ohio, we executed a man, with another man to be executed next week, and one more every month through February. I have found that in my state, our churches are so divided on capital punishment that it is as hot button an issue as homosexuality–Trinity Cathedral is a wonderful exception. It’s hard to live in a state which kills people in a premeditated way, and has me partaking in it by doing in in my name. In my experience, I have found that EPF says very little about this issue. Is it that people feel that few are affected and there are larger issues? Is it that within EPF there are those who do not object to the death penalty? The mindset of revenge is very powerful, and quite operative in capital punishment. I am curious what you think about this.

“For the past two years I have written a man on death row in Ohio and have visited him a couple of times. He was a child of rape. Many, if not nearly all, on death row, are poor with horrendous upbringings. I am so grateful for your work with home visits for families at high risk of child abuse and neglect. That is where it can all start. I feel we have let so many children down, and then when they become “damaged goods” as adults and do horrific crimes, we execute them. Many of these adults are not easy to defend. I don’t want them on the street, just to live out their lives in prison in a humane situation (which prison often is not). And I would like us to work on the reasons why these people are there to begin with, as you have done.”

My stomach lurched and time froze. I was transported for a moment from the “happy, exciting Episcopal fellowship” and hurdled back into the dank alleys where justice’s flickering flame does NOT shine. I was dizzy.

Even now I am praying between paragraphs, because these crimes against humanity weigh heavily on my heart. The short answer (although there really is no such thing, is there?) is that I am ABSOLUTELY against the Death Penalty. I cannot speak for all on the Young Adult Presence but I am sure many, if not all, are of like mind. My workplace is right across the street from a Planned Parenthood. Quite regularly I drive by small handfuls of protesters standing outside with rosaries and enlarged photos of unborn fetuses. I have two questions that I am dying to ask them: 1) how many unwanted children have you personally adopted (although MOST women will choose to keep their “unwanted’ children; that’s where child abuse prevention agencies like mine come in) and 2) who among you is out picketing the prisons? Is the life of an unborn child worth more than a man (usually) who has committed sin? Is his sin any greater than your own?  If it is still too difficult, I recall an exercise that I read a few years ago.  First you imagine yourself as a child, about 6 years old, and what you were like; what frightened you.  Then you imagine your parents as children, also 6 years old.  It’s funny because it works.  Any frustration that be held is suddenly released.  Inside each of us there is a small child, giggling, playing, timid, afraid.

Many questions come to mind. “Who IS my neighbor?” Anyone can preach on that. What we do NOT preach on, however, is the Christianity of dank alleys.   A whole bunch of Episcopalians marched today with Disney workers for justice and health care (see Disney Is Unfaithful).  With Bishops and priests in their collars in front, we eagerly took up picket signs and chanted “Si Se Puede” and “Know (No) Justice, Know (No) Peace!”  It struck me today that we can do that, but when it comes to the unglamorous dirty work, we figure “The Good Samaritan” tooth fairy will do it.

…Which is why I go to my church.  I mentioned before that I drive an hour each way on a Sunday to attend service.  My church, see, has a ministry that I’ve never encountered in another: Rahab Sisters, a women-only ministry to other women working in the sex industry.  While I am unable to participate due to the commute and my own schedule, that, to me, is radical theology.  That is splashing in the gutters, looking for Christ (and there, in his wholeness, is he found).  It is dirty.  It is unglamorous.  It won’t get you on camera.  It is Mary’s work, humbly washing the soiled, calloused feet of Christ.

I wish that each of us were blessed with people in our lives like the woman who wrote her beautiful letter.  I want to say that she is Mary, but she expresses her gentle strength a different way (and I’m tired of the Church referring to “Marys” and “Marthas”).  This woman holds a very special place as Veronica, wiping the very face of Christ as He is led to his own death penalty.

This afternoon we listened to Rev. Dr. Katherine Ragsdale, the new dean of Episcopal Divinity School.  She enlightened us that she learned in school that the original Hebrew text in Genesis uses a gender-neutral pronoun “it” in referring to the first human, saying that “God created it in God’s own image.”  This “God Likeness” called “it” was then divided of itself into male and female, because one “it” of God was lonely and could not have a relationship with itself.  God made “it” into two – Adam and Eve, each with different aspects of God’s likeness.  Each of us, said Dr. Ragsdale, retains part of that larger image of God.  Each one of us might have a “different” piece of that great big puzzle, so it is only in relationship with one another that humanity is able to reflect together the entirety of God’s image.

I take Dr. Ragsdale’s analogy one step further.  In executing one of our own, we are executing a small piece of our puzzle; chipping away at the image of God.  Amid all our justice talk and Episcopal conventions and “Family Gatherings,” we continue still to nail God, in Christ, to the cross.

Father, forgive us, for we know not what we do.

Please pray for John Fautenberry, excuted today, and for those who are following Christ through His Stations of the Cross.